30 Jan So, you’re an ambivert?
It is said that one’s identity often shifts and grows throughout a person’s life -as people confront new challenges and tackle different experiences. These shifts allow us to pivot — to reexamine, reaffirm, and rediscover who we are, what we believe in, the things we value and those we must let go.
“Identity encompasses the memories, experiences, relationships, and values that create one’s sense of self. This amalgamation creates a steady sense of who one is over time, even as new facets are developed and incorporated into one’s identity.”
Our identity allows us to find footing in our decisions, to stay grounded in times of uncertainty, and to make decisions that align with who we are or who we want to be — preparing for the next shift.
The truth is, however, as ambiverts it can sometimes feel as though we are struggling with the very identity that defines us. Can you relate?
Let’s start by breaking down what am ambivert is — someone who falls in the middle of the introvert/extrovert continuum.
Extroverts are often defined as outgoing, overtly expressive people; whereas introverts are defined as shy or reticent. An ambivert falls in between. The truth is, most of us do, but those who teeter totter on the extreme of both ends may realize it more, thus defining themselves as ambiverts.
“Ambiverts have a blend of traits from both introverts and extroverts, as well as their own unique strengths.”
This blend of traits can often feel like one’s identity is defined by opposite sides of the same coin. As such, you may feel like you’re looking at or dealing with the same situation differently depending on where the coin has landed.
There are days where we own the stage, and days where social gatherings stop us in our tracks. There are days we simply want to be alone, and days we need to be surrounded by others. There can even be days where we struggle accepting where the coin has landed — wanting to go out, but simply not having the energy or persona to do so.
As ambiverts, we recognize that there are limits to how far we push ourselves. Yesterday, for example, was #BellLetsTalk, a day I personally admire for the platform it has created to discuss and create awareness around mental health. The whole day, I put myself out there sharing my personal storyonline, at events and meet and greets that ended late into the night. I was playing extrovert for an entire day — a full 12 hours.
Fast forward to today, and my energy levels this morning were completely depleted. I had given too much of myself that I had fallen back into the introvert, needing solitary to find balance once again.
That’s the real truth about being an ambivert. It comes with its challenges. You suddenly feel like you have to always be “on” — being that extrovert you’ve previously portrayed because that’s the expectation now that others have of you. Suddenly, when you go quiet, people perceive that something is wrong but in reality you gain comfort in staying home sometimes and reading a good book or writing a good blog (I’ll let you be the judge of that).
The reality is at the end of the day, we are one coin with two sides, but we are still one coin. We find comfort in being both an extrovert and introvert, and when we recognize that in ourselves, we suddenly have the power to use that as one of our strengths.
The other truth is that being an ambivert comes with its own unique strengths. As highlighted in Healthline:
1. You’re a good listener and communicator
Extroverts prefer to talk more, and introverts like to observe and listen. But ambiverts know when to speak up and when to listen.
2. You have an ability to regulate behaviour
Adjusting to fit the person or situation seems to come naturally to ambiverts.
3. You feel comfortable in social settings, but also value your alone time
Ambiverts can feel like they’re in their element in a crowd or when enjoying a quiet evening at home.
4. Empathy comes naturally to you
Ambiverts are able to listen and show they understand where a person is coming from.
5. You’re able to provide balance
In the case of group settings, ambiverts can provide a much-needed balance to the social dynamic.
However you define your own identity, and however said identity shifts with time, memories, and relationships, know that each of us has our challenges and our strengths that ultimately make up who we are.
It can sometimes feel like an internal battle, but learning to be self-aware about our boundaries, about our feelings, and even our own character will help us create that steady sense of self even as new facets are developed and incorporated into our identity.
So, yes I am ambivert.
I’m both an extrovert and introvert.
I like people, but I also like to be alone.
I’ll go out, meet new people, network, and even do public speaking.
But there are limits, and times I need to recharge.
If I don’t find that quiet time to myself then I sometimes fail to rebalance. If I fail to rebalance, if I struggle to recharge, then I can’t be my highest self. So, if I sometimes don’t join you out, and choose my book instead …
Just remember, I’m recharging and it’s not all in my head.
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