parenting Archives - Amanda Bernardo https://amandabernardo.ca/tag/parenting/ A dynamic leader, seasoned entrepreneur and passionate community advocate Mon, 23 Sep 2024 14:54:29 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.6.2 184607573 My first 100 days of motherhood https://amandabernardo.ca/2024/09/20/my-first-100-days-of-motherhood/ Fri, 20 Sep 2024 17:00:23 +0000 https://amandabernardo.ca/?p=1452 In government and many organizations, new leaders often create a “First 100 Days Strategy” to set the tone, establish priorities, and build momentum. As I prepared for my new role as a mom, I realized that creating such a plan was much harder in this...

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In government and many organizations, new leaders often create a “First 100 Days Strategy” to set the tone, establish priorities, and build momentum. As I prepared for my new role as a mom, I realized that creating such a plan was much harder in this context. While I received plenty of advice on what my first 100 days might look like, I found that each experience is unique and my own thoughts would take time to be written. So, now that I’ve had a chance to pause and reflect, here’s what I learned thus far. I hope that it proves helpful in your own journey.

It’s hard to imagine what motherhood is all about until you’re in the thick of it. For me, it was a long awaited chapter I so desperately wanted to experience after a long road of complications with endometriosis, PCOS, and adenomyosis. When our son was born, and the “what ifs” of these conditions finally disappeared, having the title of mom felt absolutely surreal.

There are no words to describe how giving birth absolutely changes you, but since that moment all I know is that it had.
 

I went from chasing motherhood to becoming a mom, and in that journey I’ve learned so much. I learned not only about myself but also the tips, tricks, and tools to navigate this next chapter in my life with as much ease, support and compassion as I possibly can – recognizing that sometimes these lessons and ways of doing things can be completely rewritten.

Here's what I learned -

First and foremost, I discovered a love so profound that it has changed my entire outlook on life. This new bond with my son is unlike any other, filled with an overwhelming sense of care and responsibility that goes beyond what I could have imagined.

This love taught me the importance of being present and slowing down. I learned to live in the moment, to not always plan ahead, and to savour time more than ever before.

I learned a new kind of patience – whether it was dealing with sleepless nights, constant feeding, or simply navigating all the firsts and unknowns. It’s natural to feel uncertain or frustrated when things don’t go as planned, but giving yourself grace during this transition allowed me to adjust to my new role of mom with compassion.

Motherhood also showed me that it’s okay to not have all the answers. It taught me the importance of self-compassion—of being gentle with myself when things don’t go as planned and of celebrating the small victories that come from simply doing my best.

With that, I learned that motherhood can be physically and emotionally demanding. New moms learn just how strong and resilient we are as we navigate challenges such as childbirth, postpartum recovery, and the daily demands of caring for a newborn.

This chapter is truly a testament to the incredible capacity of mothers to adapt, endure, and thrive, even when faced with the most exhausting and trying moments.

This is why having a strong support system is so important. Whether it’s family, friends, or fellow moms, having people to lean on has made a huge difference. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and I learned the value of that village early on.

It’s also important to remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a recognition of the importance of self-care and well-being for both you and your baby. There will be moments when you feel overwhelmed or unsure, and that’s okay—no one expects you to do it all on your own. Reaching out for support allows you to recharge and ensures that you can be the best version of yourself for your child.

If you didn’t practice self-care pre-baby, chances are it’s even lower on your list post-, but in order to be that best version of yourself you need to prioritize self-care. Taking time for yourself is not selfish—it’s essential. The reality is, motherhood has no off switch. This constant responsibility makes it all the more important to find balance so that you’re not running on empty. Whether it’s finding a few quiet moments to meditate, taking a walk, or simply indulging in a favorite hobby, these small acts of self-care can replenish your energy and help you create a more balanced life where you can continue to give your best to your child and self.

As I navigated these first 100 days of motherhood I not only learned valuable lessons like the ones shared above, but I also discovered practical tools and products that made this journey a bit easier. Some of these have been shared below. 

The first 100 days of motherhood have already transformed me in ways I could have never imagined, but I know this is only just the start. Each day, week, month, and year will bring new challenges, lessons, and joys that will continue to shape who I am as a mother … but also as a leader.

With an eventual return to work, I know this shift in my perspective will undoubtedly reshape how I approach my professional life.

My experiences as a mother will enrich how I engage with colleagues, tackle challenges, and contribute to my organization. But it will also support me in advocating for better workplace environments that promote improved balance for careers and families.

As mothers, we bring invaluable insights and leadership skills that can help drive truly effective teams and make a significant impact on our organizations. If in 100 days we are able to gain so many valuable lessons, after a year we will have gained far more that will equip us to return even more valuable to our organization’s culture, leadership, and results. But in order for this value to effect change, organizations need to do better in creating the right conditions for mothers/parents to thrive. I hope I can continue to be a champion for these conditions to exist, with my own personal experiences now inspiring me.

Until then, I can’t wait to see what the next 100+ days bring.

Included below are a list of products to support not only your first 100 days of motherhood, but the days beyond as well. 

 

These lists include items I’ve purchased and used, as well as items I’ve researched as great options and/or alternatives – items are not sponsored. This is not an exhaustive list, and the items included below should be researched based on your own preferences and needs. While many of these lists have been created via Amazon, many of these items can also be found locally. Support local where possible!

Hospital Bag & Postpartum Care

A list of must haves for your hospital bag will vary depending on who you ask or what website link you click, but here is what I found to be essential. I’ve included items for mom, baby, as well as a section on postpartum care for when you get home. 

Some of my favourites are linked here on Amazon, others are linked directly below:

For Mom:
      1. Health Card and ID
      2. Comfortable Clothing – I lived in my nursing gown the entire visit but recommend at a minimum a comfy change of clothes for when you leave the hospital (something loose fitting is recommended).
      3. Flip flops (in case you want to shower)
      4. Toiletries – for example:
          • Toothbrush and toothpaste
          • Hairbrush or comb
          • Lip balm
          • Deodorant
          • Shampoo, conditioner, and body wash (especially if you want to shower before going home)
          • Hair ties or headbands
          • Face wipes or a gentle cleanser
          • Moisturizer
      1. Postpartum Essentials – for example:
        • Feminine hygiene products (the hospital may provide some, but it’s good to have your own)
        • Comfortable postpartum underwear (high-waisted or disposable)
        • Peri bottle (the hospital may provide one)
      1. Medications – Any prescription medications you’re currently taking
      2. Tech – for example:
        • Phone and charger
        • Headphones or earbuds
        • A mini fan (this was one of the best recommendations I got that I did not think of and appreciated immensely) 
      1. Snacks and Drinks – High-energy snacks like granola bars, nuts, dried fruit, or crackers. An insulated water bottle is great too! 
      2. Must haves for your partner – They may also want to bring a change clothes, pillow, blanket, and toiletries. 
 
Additional support and resources are available via Parenting Ottawa
 
For Baby:
      1. Going-Home Outfit – Depending on the season, pack a weather-appropriate outfit, including a hat and mittens if needed.
      2. Receiving Blankets – Lightweight, breathable blankets for swaddling. The hospital usually provides this but an extra doesn’t hurt just in case.
      3. Diapers and Wipes: The hospital usually provides diapers, but asked we bring our own wipes.
      4. Car Seat – Ensure it’s properly installed in your vehicle before heading to the hospital. You can leave this in the car until you are discharged and ready to take baby home.
      5. Nursing Essentials – If you plan to formula feed, bring your preferred brand and bottles. The hospital can also supplement if your breastmilk doesn’t come in right away. You may want to bring a handheld breast pump to help stimulate your supply while in hospital. A nursing bra for those breastfeeding may also be added to mom’s list for comfort and ease of use.
      6. Diaper Bag – Everything for baby can be brought to the hospital in your diaper bag. 
 
For Postpartum:

While some postpartum essentials have been mentioned above and/or linked via Amazon, a few other notable mentions are included below. 

      1. Postnatal multivitamin – there are many options out there, but one that I recently ordered was from Everydae. Speaking to a naturopath is another option to ensure you are getting exactly what you need.
      2. Robe – a comfortable robe will make those first few weeks at home much more comfortable – check out the Love & Lore robe as an option.

For additional postpartum support, the Baby Academy Canada offers some great resources – both free and paid – including a first 6 weeks at home class for both mom and baby.

Daily Essentials

Many of the items I use on a daily basis as a first-time mom can be found here on Amazon, from diapers to nursing products, and so much more. This is not an exhaustive list and grows/changes monthly with baby. 

Playtime & Baby Books

Some of my favourite books to read to baby, including helpful reads as a first-time mom, are linked here via Amazon. I’ve also included some of our favourite toys and developmental activities. 

To keep playtime comfortable, I’m also linking a Canadian small business that offers beautiful, high-quality play mats – Ourson (Featured in the article header photo)

Not listed above are some of the great resources and activities in our city (Ottawa). I’ve included these below:

    • EarlyONEarlyON Child and Family Centres offer free, high-quality programs for families and children from birth to 6 years old where you can: join fun activities – reading, storytelling, sing-alongs, games and more; get advice from professionals trained in early childhood development; find out about other family services in your community; and, connect with other families with young children
    • Lullaland – New to Ottawa, these classes are great for mom and baby. Lullaland offers sensory classes that are backed by research, designed with creativity and crafted to encourage the rapid development of your little one in their formative years.
    • Monkey Rock Music – Monkey Rock Music is a fun, entertaining and creative participatory music program for young children and their adult caregivers.
    • Little Rebels Music – Little Rebels offers classes for infants (2 months to 6 months), babies (7 months to 14 months), toddlers (15 months to 24 months), and big kids (2 years to 5 years). Their classes encourage cognitive learning, muscle development, and creative play through music and movement.
    • City Programming – As baby gets bigger, there are a lot of activities and programs available locally through the city.

Don’t forget to also check out my children’s books – Little Voice and The Lighthouse – for your home library! 

Baby Travel Essentials

Whether you are travelling afar or close to home, I pulled together some essential products that helped with each of these trips. Some of these items are included in the daily essentials list above, while a few extras have been added to this dedicated list via Amazon.

Applications 

While technology always has its pros and cons, the following applications have had a positive impact in how I am able to navigate my own journey of motherhood.

Huckleberry

A great app to help track baby’s day, discover patterns and help with sleep. Especially helpful in the early days of tracking diapers and weight gain for your doctor. I also upgraded to their Plus Membership and take advantage of their Sweet Spot predictions to help with nap time ($74.99). 

The Wonder Weeks

The Wonder Weeks is a great app that was referred to me by a fellow mom to help learn about my baby’s development. Tracking baby’s development also helps know when they will be a bit more fussier than usual as a result of the changes they are experiencing. The app also suggests great activities to help your baby develop these new skills. The app is $7.99. 

Journal

iPhone’s Journal app (free) has been a great way to capture memories, firsts, and so much more. I’ve been taking pictures and writing entries since the day I found out I was pregnant. While I am a typically pen and paper journalist, having the ease of capturing everything on my phone meant I was able to be more frequent with my entries. Whether you capture this chapter of your life on your phone or in a book, I highly recommend writing/photographing this special time in your life any chance you get. 

Spotify

While music is great in any chapter of life, I find myself integrating it more and more into our daily routine. Whether it be listening to a podcast while cleaning, re-learning children classics during playtime, or simply playing a lullaby to help with nap time, the ease of accessing it from my phone is priceless. Some of my favourite playlists for baby are listed below:

Audible

It’s definitely a lot harder to pick up a book these days, but listening to one is definitely doable! To keep reading, I’m listening to books via Audible during car rides, naps, or wherever I can squeeze in a few minutes for me. 

I hope these lessons and recommendations provide some comfort and guidance as you navigate your own journey of motherhood.
 
Remember, it’s perfectly okay not to have all the answers upfront. Every mom’s path is unique, and what matters most is that you embrace the process, learn along the way, and trust yourself. You’ve got this!

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